Car Manufacturing: There's Gotta Be a Better Way

I don't proclaim to know much about the car manufacturing or sales industry, but one thing seems very peculiar to me... the dealership formula.

Even in good times, this concept doesn't make sense to me, and now in bad times it's even more confusing. Here's what I'm talking about:

You go to a dealer and they have hundreds, perhaps thousands of cars just sitting there in the lot. For starters, this seems like a tremendous expense in terms of maintaining inventory, paying for property and associated taxes, keeping the cars clean and safe, and even trying to match up the right car with the right person.

It seems to me that it would make more sense to have one central holding space for a large amount of cars (or even a produce-on-demand type system that would only produce cars when needed), and then the dealers themselves would have only a few dozen on their lot to use as test drive or showroom models. Then if somebody wanted a certain car the dealer would order it and ship it out (which seems to happen a lot anyway).

Again, the automobile industry is not my forte, but having cars just sit there for weeks/months on end doesn't make sense to me.

Who knows, maybe things will change... down the road...

Decline in Driving: Decline in Other Problems Too?

As you've probably heard, Americans have been driving less in the past year or so, in large part due to the high gas prices in 2008, the recession, demographic factors, and so on.

Some follow up questions to this behavioral change is... have road problems declined as well? Are fewer people getting in accidents? Are moving violations dropping? Are incidents of road rage diminishing?

If the answer is yes to most or all of these questions (and granted, it may take a while to determine the answers), it makes me wonder if there will eventually be a fundamental change in driving patterns in the coming years.

As the saying goes, the most dangerous person thing most people will do in any given day is get in the car and go somewhere. Yet we collectively take this risk every day without even putting much thought into it. Perhaps some people will start to realize the inherent downsides of driving, and change their behaviors to drive as little as possible.

But judging how much people love their cars, I'm guessing this won't pan out for a looooong long time...

One Way Car Makers Could Go the Extra Mile

With the economy in the gutter, car sales have skidded, and automakers have begun to plead for government subsidies. It's an ugly scene out there.

That situation aside, I think that car makers should look at ways of going the extra mile to befriend consumers again. Sure, cars are safer now than ever, gas mileage is slowly improving, and the amenities inside of cars (can you say cupholders?) have increased. But perhaps it's the simple things that they're missing out on.

For instance, I just read an article in Consumer Reports about 12 things you should have in your car in case of a break down. The list they developed contains the following items: hazard triangles or flares, jumper cables, a flashlight, roadside-assistance membership, tow rope, duct tape, small shovel, bag of sand, windshield scraper, emergency blanket, and hand warmers. All simple things that people ideally should have in their cars, but how many of us really do bother to have all of it?

My feeling is that an auto maker or car dealer should set themselves apart and surprise buyers with a package containing all of these items upon purchase of a new car. Think about how little this entire package would cost (a couple hundred dollars at the very most), but how much goodwill they would be delivering to the new car buyer. Ultimately, it's a simple gesture but it shows they care about the driver.

Volkswagen Ad: Bad Sounding?

My last post centered around the poor timing of Verizon ads, which give me the creepy feeling of "Big Brother is Listening to Me".

Today I'd like to write a blurb about how annoying this new Volkswagen commercial is. At least I think it's a VW advertisement, but to be honest it annoys me so much that I can't even stand to pay attention to it enough to look at what company is torturing me.

So here's the summary of the commercial:

Guy and gal are in a car showroom (how innovative).
They see a car they like and start to get close to it.
The car's alarm starts up and car starts beeping obnoxiously.
They back off.
Alarm goes silent.
They step forward again.
The alarm blares again.
Guy and gal can't figure out why, but they keep inching in towards car.
Turns out-- are you ready?-- a buyer upstairs is hitting the alarm button on the remote just to mess with them.

So not only are the people looking at the car complete idiots (is that the kind of message you want to convey about your customers? -Ed.), but the commercial insists on blasting the horn repetitively.

Sorry folks, but in my book it don't get much more annoying than that. Most people that drive hear horns every single day and don't particularly want to come home, relax on the couch, and get hit with them from a lame commercial because some marketing flunkie misread the focus group reports that people really "Don't like to hear horns repetitively."

That's my sound-off for today. Thanks for tuning in. Next time I'll try to focus on something more positive and less headache-inducing.

Here's a New "Nuance Marketing Message" for Automakers

Dear Toyota, Honda, GM, Ford, Saturn, Kia, Hyundai, Rolls-Royce, Jeep, Mazda, et. al:

It is quite obvious to me that the marketing messages and positioning statements for cars are slowly shifting away from the major aspects of cars, such as reliability, safety, dependability, and the like. Instead, consumers are bombarded with ads that focus on the tiny nuances in each car model. To wit:

-Ford Focus ads feature their new Sync system that controls your phone, music, text messaging, hairstyles, body odor, and the like.
-Scion ads talk about their customization flexibility
-Various mini-van ads tout their space saving capabilities like fold-down seats
-Pontiac Aztek ads were noted for showing off the fact that you can camp out in the back
-And so on and so forth.

So here's my nuance marketing suggestion that I would like to see developed and marketed for a new car:

crevice-free cabins

That's right. I want a car that has ZERO crevices in it. No place for me to lose loose change. Nowhere for dirt to hide. No entrance for parking garage ticket stubs to get stuck. No way for my sunglasses to get lodged in between the seat and the door right when the sun's blaring in my eyes. Just a solid, complete mold of a cabin whereby nothing falls into the "abyss" never to be found again.

Now THERE'S a positioning statement you can hang your hat on. And not lose in the seat cusions.

Rules of the Road: 7 Reminders of How to Drive!

After driving for three hours on New Jersey highways this past weekend, I'd like to provide a public service and remind people how to drive! Call it "Plunge into Driving School 101".

I bore witness to numerous annoyances, instances of dangerous driving, and general ignorance for the road, from people of all backgrounds and a variety of states. (Teenagers and new drivers, feel free to print this out and paste on your dashboard for future reference!)...

1. If it's dark and pouring, or even just drizzling, put your lights on! I drove through a serious downpour and there were still drivers that didn't bother to flick their headlight switch on. It's the law in the New Jersey-- "Wipers on, Lights on" but in reality should just be a matter of common sense. Without your lights on you make it extremely difficult for others to see you. Ummmm....not good.

2. If you choose to drive the speed limit or slower, that's fine, I appreciate your respect for the law and for safety. But out of courtesy for other drivers, move on over to the right lane. People who want to drive faster than you are driving will find a way to pass you. You make it 10x more dangerous if they have to pass on the right or tailgate you into submission. It's just not worth it. Please move over.

3. Cell phones... just put 'em down while you're handling a two ton machine. Please. Bluetooth earpieces or speakers are a much better alternative.

4. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you should make everybody else around you suffer. If you get into a turning lane by accident, and other cars are near or rapidly approaching you... just turn, unless nobody's behind you and you can safely get over to the correct lane. Don't try to cut back into the other lanes real fast.

5. If you're stuck in a line of traffic on the right side and want to get over to the left, don't cut out the approaching cars; just wait until they pass. Once you cause those cars in the left lane to break for no reason other than to let you in, you're just asking for trouble.

6. Learn how to park. Be it parallel parking or parking between the lines, do it right so as not to foul things up for everybody else. Nothing worse than a busy parking lot or tight city street where some moron is taking up two precious spaces for no reason other than s/he's being lazy and inconsiderate.

7. My last pet peeve... keep your cigarette butts in the car! Despite what you may believe, the world is NOT your ashtray (or trashcan as the case may be for those people who like to toss out their gum wrappers, soda cans, and the like). Keep your refuse in the car and take it out later.

Follow these rules and we can all live in highway harmony! Class dismissed.

Marketing vs. Car Accidents

Marketers spend millions (billions? trillions?) of dollars every year to essentially get your attention. I know this because I am personally responsible for a very tiny fraction of that amount spent.

And yet really all you need is a traffic accident to grab somebody's attention.

Every time I pass by an accident while on the road, people slow down to a crawl and gawk at what's going on on the side of the road. It's a "must-see" moment.

But put a fake accident in commercials like VW has tried doing recently, and people are totally repulsed. I don't know anybody who likes those ads... or most ads for that matter.

So how does a marketer get that traffic accident moment?

Sometimes it just happens by accident, I reckon.

All that planning and strategizing and money-spending goes completely ignored, while a quick, unplanned, violent mistake gets all the attention.

Drive safely.

The Mystifying Ways of the Auto Industry

I was never a big admirer of cars. Some people collect them, refurbish them, pimp them up, and dream about them. That's cool. Everybody's got their thing. I've always considered cars to be a machine that gets me from here to yon.

I'm not quite sure why I never took to cars. My dad loved and still loves cars. He can watch a throwback movie from the 50's and name the year, make, and model of cars that are in the background. It's quite an impressive talent actually! But for some reason I never caught on.

I think it's mostly because I'm jaded by the whole auto industry. Their ways of doing business just totally mystify me.

Here are some points to chew on about why the auto industry bugs me:

• Dealers: Granted, some dealers have caught on of late, but how many times do you see a car dealer commercial where the rich, slickly dressed dealership owner is yelling at you about how cheap his cars are or how fast you have to act before this price break ends? It's totally tasteless and out of control! Since when do people want to be interrupted with this garbage? Sadly, it seems to work or else they wouldn't continue to do it. But not for me.
  
• Dealers, Mechanics at the: It's a universal fact that the mechanics at the dealers charge you your firstborn baby to fix a rusted tailpipe. Independent mechanics aren't usually much better. I utterly respect mechanics' knowledge of fixing cars, but don't markup the cost of a part by 200%, and don't tell me I need something when I don't. Why would I want to come back to you if you're screwing me? On the bright side, the internet has made a dent in the price of parts. To wit, I just bought a new mirror at PartsTrain.com for a total of $43, and a guy at work popped it on for me at no charge. That's the way to do it.
• Jobs: Used to be that jobs in the auto industry were good, honest work for hard working people. Obviously things change over time, but I can't quite get excited about buying a car when I hear that 10,000 jobs need to be cut here, or 30,000 there, etc. There's got to be a better way to go about this.
  
• Marketing: Twenty years ago, environmentalists were called crazy for worrying about carbon dioxide emissions, fossil fuel shortages, and so forth. Now all of the sudden, all of these car dealers are "going green" and claiming to save the environment. Look, I'm all for hybrid cars. These should have been mainstreamed decades ago. But don't all of a sudden act like you're on my side, and also, don't tell me that "the environment thanks you", as Honda says. The environment thanks me when I walk to the store, or ride a bike to work (which, unfortunately, I am guilty of not doing enough of either). It doesn't "thank me" for continuing to pump out CO2, just in lesser amounts. Let's be real here.
• Numbers: Can anybody tell me what all those numbers are all about at the end of a commercial, on a contract to buy a car, on a car rental contract, or in the owner's manual? Whatever happened to making things simple? Not in autoland. It's just one big numbermash!
  

Well that's a small taste of why I dislike the auto industry. Maybe by the time I'm ready to buy my next car in a few years, they'll have figured it all out. If not, maybe it's time for a Schwinn. Keep on truckin'!