What's Missing at Supermarkets?

Supermarkets have become a scientifically formulated masterpiece in the art of getting more people to spend more money.

Aisles are arranged in such a way that you are directed past oodles of products you may never need, just to get a bottle of milk. But perhaps, just perhaps, you see something that you might like, and you decide to buy it, even though that's not what you came to the store for.

Endcaps promote products to seem like they're on sale, even though they may not be; but the sheer appeal of that endcap entices shoppers to at least take a look, and at most buy 10 whatever it is that's being promoted.

Cheaper versions of a particular item are often placed on the bottom shelf where people don't look as frequently, and instead go for the higher priced item in the middle.

And so on and so forth.

But I think that anybody who has ever shopped at a supermarket on a Sunday morning will tell you about how aggravating it is to check out and pay for all this food you've dumped in your cart. There are 10 check out lines that are up and running, but each line has six people in it and each person has a cart full of Doritos, string cheese, and marshmallows that all need to be unloaded, scanned, bagged, and reloaded into the cart. Can't get much more inefficient.

So couldn't there be a way to make this process more efficient and build in a register right in the shopping cart? That way, you grab your box of Count Chocula, scan it, and drop it into your cart. Then, when you're finished, you roll up to the front register, pay your bill, bag your goods, and you're off.

Well, that's my simplistic, unrefined idea. Whether it's doable or not, I don't know. But the fact is that an otherwise satisfactory shopping experience can be totally destroyed by standing in line for 10 minutes just to have the honor of handing over your money to someone else. In other words, it's an aggravating way to end your pleasant morning.

Streamline the check out process, make people happy, make more money. That's my suggestion. Now go enjoy your Twinkies.

An Idea for Music at the Gym

So here's a wacky idea I had when I was at the gym today.

The gym I belong to pumps in music over the loud speakers, presumably a satellite feed that also gets fed to its other locations around the nation. Meanwhile, 75% of the people working out at any given time have their earphones pumping out music from their mp3 players. The music being played varies from rock, to 80s, to hip-hop, etc. Generally it's stuff everybody has heard.

My idea involves the following steps:

1. Each gym member selects his or her top 5 musical artists, and then the artists' names are punched in to a computer. Perhaps these names can be updated over time, but that's besides the point for now.

2. When the gym member scans his or her card in, the computer takes note of this and recognizes the member's musical preferences. The computer would also be able to be set on whether or not the member is wearing an mp3 player during his/her workout.

3. If s/he is NOT wearing an mp3 player, the computer would aggregate the music that this member chose, along with the music that all the other non-mp3 wearing members chose, and then play selections from the bands selected, particularly if there happens to be a common theme between the bands or genres preferred.

Essentially, it's a quasi-personalized radio station that is designed to play music that is popular amongst non-mp3ers who are working out at any given time. That way, the members who are not listening to their own choice of music get to at least hear stuff they may like rather than random stuff that doesn't necessarily appeal to anybody or only a few people. It's kind of a version of target marketing.

Pretty complicated concept now that I think about it. But these are the things I think about as I pause between reps at the gym. Mental workout, I suppose.

Dove Soap Dives into Soapy Semantics

On a recent trip to a BJ's mega-jumbo-cavernous Warehouse, I wandered to the toiletries section to pick up a package of soap bars for my wife. She specifically requested Dove soap and I happened upon 4-5 options from Unilever's big brand name.

As I was scanning the packaging on each type of soap, I noticed a peculiar play on words that had me wondering, "Are these marketing people serious? Or perhaps it's just a joke?"

Some of the soaps had: "Moisturizing Cream" emblazoned on the cartons.

Other soaps had: "Hydrating Lotion" depicted on them.

Ummm, okay.

Last time I checked, hydrating is synonymous with moisturing.

Ditto for lotion and cream.

Knowing enough about marketing to be dangerous, my hunch is that this is some sort of A/B split test to see which words sell better. Otherwise, perhaps it's just the Unilever marketers trying to liven things up for us bored consumers. Whatever the case, they might want to clean up their semantics...

Husband and Wife Die... Let's Count Their Money?

I came across an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about a couple who apparently killed themselves in a knife fight over the weekend. Pretty sad and gruesome news, and I feel terrible for the kids who have lost both their parents. Definitely not something you want to hear about.

Speaking of things you don't want to hear about, I was really baffled by some of the extraneous details that were included in the article about the deceased, Robert and Sophia DiAndrea. Please feel free to tell me if you think these are really necessary bits of information, and tell me if you've ever even heard a news report talk about these types of things before (these are actual statements from the article):

-Robert was a $44,860-a-year supervisor of water conveyance systems for the Water Department, hired on May 27, 1997, city records show.

-Hired by the school district on Oct. 23, 1993, Sophia was a fifth-grade teacher who made $81,617 a year, school records show. She had worked four years at Anne Frank Elementary School, at 2000 Bowler St., an eight-minute ride away.

-The DiAndreas bought their home for $138,000 on Jan. 31, 1997, city records show.

Do those details seem bizarrely out of context when talking about a husband and wife who died? I just don't get it. The rest of the article is well-reported, giving a snapshot into their lives, but the financial data seems to come out of left field. Would the journalist have reported how much they both made if it were not public information? Or what if they were a low-income couple? Maybe it's me, but I don't feel the need to count someone else's money after a vicious ending to their lives.

Why Best Buy Might Want to Reconsider Its Own Name

A recent commercial for Best Buy pointed out something that I noticed recently about the big box electronics store. But what they pointed out isn't exactly something I'd call a selling point or a sensible marketing message.

Their latest commercials feature a hapless customer standing on a podium in front of a stadium full of energetic Best Buy salespeople who want to help answer questions. One of the responses to a question posed by the customer is that 'Best Buy will match any competitor's prices'. And herein lies the problem.

On two recent occasions, I was shopping for electronics products. First was a digital photo frame for a birthday present for my wife. I went to Best Buy and bought the frame that I thought my wife would like. The next day I did some price surfing on the internet and found out that Wal-Mart's price beat Best Buy's price by at least 20% (I apologize, I don't remember the exact prices). When I found this out, after having already bought the frame from Best Buy, I went back and got a credit for the difference in price back to my account, but only after having to stand in a long line at customer service. Not a good way to start.

Then, I recently was looking for a Flip video camera to have on hand for when my son was born (3 weeks ago tomorrow!). I shopped around the prices, and, lo and behold, Wal-Mart beat Best Buy again, this time by about $10. Not a lot, but it made my decision that much easier. Mind you, I'm not normally a shopper at Wal-Mart because I'm not a huge fan of their stores, but hey, if I can save a few bucks... why not?

My point here... if Best Buy were really trying to do a service to its customers it wouldn't offer to match any competitor's prices... it would truly offer the "best buy" in the first place.

Why Women and Cell Phones Don't Mix

At least once a day, I am privy to this delightful situation:

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG*
(insert most annoying ring tone you can think of)

That goes on for about 5 seconds. Then it's a woman's voice:

"Oh, is that my phone ringing?"

Then it's a mad scramble to try to find the phone in the depths of the abyss otherwise known as the pocketbook. (Have you noticed how big women's pocketbooks have gotten lately? Whatever happened to discrete, dainty purses?? Sorry, I digress.)

Phone is found, then it's:

"Oh! It's (insert name of person she talks to every day)!"

"Hello? Hello? HELLO???"

Pause, look at phone.

"Oh I missed it."

This kind of annoying nonsense probably happens at least 19,000 times every second somewhere around the world.

I would love it if somebody could explain to me a rational reason as to why no woman can carry a cell phone in her pocket, or on her belt loop, or elsewhere on her person, and not stash it deep inside the bag. Quite frankly, it's never a man who hears his phone ring and goes through this routine of not knowing if it's his phone or where his phone is. Or, let me clarify that... if it is a man who goes through this routine, he's usually 70 years or older, in which case we'll let him pass because he's earned the right to lose his phone at that age. But no excuses for young or middle aged women for these shenanigans!

Let's get some cell phone etiquette classes, shall we?

Magazine Inserts: Missed Marketing Opportunity

I subscribe to a few magazines and come across dozens more every month. One thing I've noticed is that there seems to be a major missed opportunity with magazine inserts: marketing to subscribers.

When you subscribe to a magazine, you get the same blow-in inserts as the newsstand version. Why? Wouldn't it make more sense to, perhaps, thank the subscriber for reading the magazine and give him a value added bonus? Or a tailor-made message exclusively for subscribers? Just something that separates the subscriber base from the newsstand base, and gives a more personal, rewarding quality for the most loyal readers.

My thinking is that subscribers shouldn't be subjected to continuous "Subscribe Now!" postcards when they already do receive the magazine every month. Printing those kinds of cards are pestering to subscribers and generally just a waste of paper. And a missed marketing opportunity for the magazine publishers.