NUTS?!?? What-are-you, NUTS?!?!?

I think out of all of the most controversial foods in North America, nuts-- primarily, though not limited to, peanuts-- take the proverbial cake for stirring up the most controvery.

Allow me to explain.

You and your date just finished having a delightful, romantic dinner by the candlelight. You take away the dinner plates, clear off the table, and bring out a special surprise dessert for the two of you to enjoy. You look lovingly at your significant other and present your lush dish, a plate of brownies (or fill in just about any other dessert dish here).

Your lover looks at them in grinning awe, picks one brownie up to nibble on it, and pauses in mid-bite to scream out--- "NUTS??? What-are-you nuts??? I hate nuts in my brownies!!!! Don't you know that?"

This ugly scene is played out in hundreds of different variations every single day. For example:

-Look at virtually any box of cereal or other packaged food. Many will have a label to warn people that the food was handled on machinery that processed peanuts. Strike 1.

-Like peanut butter? Good, me too. Now go and talk to anybody else who likes peanut butter and you will instantly have an epic battle or, conversely, a newfound respect over the issue of "chunky vs. smooth". (Chunky wins, hands down, by the way!) One of the simplest foods in the world will stir up endless discussion simply based on the texture options.

-"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." Ahh, the old "Almond Joy vs. Mounds" battle that marketers happened upon years ago. Where do you stand? The same could be said for M&M's vs. Peanut M&M's. Or various other candies.

-And I personally think the fact that you will readily declare someone else "nuts" when you don't like something that this someone else says or does, goes a long way to reflect the fact that nuttiness is such a mainstream issue in our society. When "nuts" is used as an adjective to describe someone, it shows just how sensitive we are to those cruchy little shelled finger foods. It's quite a nutty situation, wouldn't you say?

So where do you stand on the nuts issue? Are you pro nuts in brownies? Anti-Almond Joy? Chunky or smooth? Let's get nutty here!

On a separate but related note, many belated congrats to Philadelphia's Mayor-elect, Mr. Michael Nutter. I think it's safe to say that Philadelphians weren't nuts to elect you. Best of luck in your new job!